developers can be straight forward at times, a bit unfiltered. being aware of this and taking arguments and criticism constructively can help you understand what's being said. with every comment the conversation takes a turn from one point to another, make sure your comments push it towards the positive direction.
not taking everything personally helps with this. trying to understand the argument from their perspective also helps deal with such issues or atleast not escalate it further. the goal is to come to a mutual understanding and for that it's important that you start out assuming that things are said in good faith.